Posted by Kyle Sarrasin
Look, ok, I admit that we were wrong about the FEMA camps. The Chemtrails, too, of course. I mean, I say “we,” but, you know me, I never really believed any of that shit. Still, I didn’t see it coming, the way it did. How was I to know, how were any of us to know, that it was just gonna be all them regular folks, those, those sheeple, that came to get us in the end?
That’s what they are, don’t doubt it. Sheeple. One day, they’ll wake up, and realize how good they had it. One day, they’re gonna get tired of all their cheap handouts, all that third-rate, nanny-state healthcare. One day, one day soon, they’ll regret sending us to this island. Us, the ones that couldn’t be cracked, couldn’t be bought with their “social welfare,” with their enforced equality. They’ll come crawling back to us, because they’ll likely have forgotten even how to work a proper society, the morons. The willing slaves.
Like, when it kicked off, yeah? When it was all starting – people were saying the most ridiculous things, that the government was going to take care of them, or even that, without the corporate fat-cats – their words, not mine – there’d be more to go around. More what? More of everything, they said! Listen, I know how this works, I’ve got a degree from Chicago. You can’t just remove the top layer of society, it’d be, it’d be chaos! Who’s left that would have the expertise to properly invest? Who’s left that can properly guide the corporations?
What d’you mean, there aren’t any corporations now? How do you organize society? Who gives the instructions on what needs to be produced, most efficiently? Who funds and directs new development? Central planning? Oh boy! It’s a wonder you haven’t descended into savagery yet. How, exactly, do you think this wonderful utopia of yours is going to turn out? I’ll tell you how! It’ll be just like what happened in Russia, exactly the same thing!
Bureaucratic centralism? Nothing like what you’ve got? I don’t know about that – you’ll see, soon, without an open, unfettered market, like we have here, like we were trying for before this revolution of yours, cartels are gonna form. The power is going to go to those at the top. And, then, who are you going to look to? Is there even anyone left there who actually understands macroeconomics?
When it really starts to get grim, I bet we’re gonna see a bunch of you people trying to get out here. Our economy is going to be so strong that we’ll be rich, because, don’t you see, it’s the only way to do it? You’ve gotta trust in the invisible hand, man! The markets balance themselves out, and no amount of well-meaning tampering can do the work of good, sound, rational self-interest. The models prove it!
Oh, that’s all the time you have for the interview? You’ve got to go, so soon?
Hey, can I ask you something? You’re going back to the mainland, right? When you get there, could you, could you ask them to send some more food shipments? We’ve got a bit of a supply side issue at the moment – it’ll work itself out, eventually, don’t worry! But, right now, y’know, well, there’s this guy, other side of the island. And he and his buddies are hoarding all the food. Until the rest of us can break the monopoly, well, you get the idea…
Posted on December 19, 2014, in Mauve Prose, Short(er) Stories and tagged Ancap, Chicago School, Economics, Flash Fiction, Libertarianism, Monetarism, Post-Rev, Satire, Socialism, the Left. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.